So Far Away
by Anime Writer2
Summary: TaitoYamachi. Tai has been gone for 2 years, and in the first chapter remembers what it was like running into Matt a year ago to the date. Read the 2nd chapter to see what else happens. Review.
1. Surviving

This is my First Song story, it is Stained's- So Far Away, hence the name, but in this part I only use 8 lined of the beginning of the song. I will write until the song is done and maybe some. 

Please review, and this has nothing to do with my other Taito/Yamachi story Mistakes, but that is complete if any of you want to check it out. 

I will update soon. So the more REVIEWS I get the fast the update will come. 

**So Far Away.**

Police sirens screaming through the darkness.

Gun shot echoing through the silence.

Screaming children, crying for there dead parents.

Blood shed every night.

Hiding from all people.

Every reason different from the rest.

This is what my life is now; this is what I've become. 

**(~**This is my life**~)**

**(~**Its not what it was before**~) **

It was never like this before. Yes I had to deal with pain, but all digi-destines did. It was a different pain back then, a child's pain. The pain now is real, but after awhile you become hard, listening to the cries of a dying women don't shack you up as much as they did. Every time you hear another you become stronger, or that's what I keep telling myself. 

I still remember the days when I would laugh and play, kicking a soccer ball around, thinking I had it bad when I had to clean my room. What I wouldn't do to have a real room now.

Having friends come over, crying when my little sister would come in to bug us, trying to get mom to tell her to go away. I would love to see her again; it's been so long. 

" But you can't." I whisper to myself, there is no one else to talk to. 

I've gone back once, to check and see how they were. It was a year ago now. When I had gone back after a year, I was shocked to see them, so much had changed.

" Two years…" Two years living on my own, I could not believe it. It seemed so much longer then that. 

Everyone had been there, all my friends and family, well most. One person was missing from the group, I looked through the window trying to see him, my best friend, but Matt was nowhere in sight. 

I stood there for another minute, burning their images into my memory, how I wanted to go in there and plead for forgiveness, but I couldn't I was a disgrace now. 

I started to leave making my way to the stairs, when I felt someone grab onto my arm. I remember the fear that shot through me. I couldn't face them! 

" Tai…" Remembering the pain in the voice still makes tears come to my eyes. I didn't want to cause them any pain, especially him. 

He tried my name again and I turned around, I wanted to see him so bad, but I also didn't want to see how good he was doing without me, man was I ever shocked.

I remember looking up and gasping, I remember every second of our encounter. Matt look horrible, I mean he was still the most gorgeous creature I had ever seen, but he was a wreck. 

" Matt!" I had said shocked. Tears were falling from his eyes, some going down pre-cried trails; his hair was a mess, looking as if it hadn't been brushed in weeks. He was skinner looking as if he had lost 20 pounds, even though he had been stick thin before. His eyes held so much pain, but there was so much hope, new hope I could tell, the kind of hope that you get back after you thought there was none.

I cringe now knowing that, that hope had been missed placed. 

He had me in a tight embrace before I could blink, holding as close as he could. I herd him sob, and whisper something about this cant be a dream.

" Oh Yama." I whispered. I didn't want to hurt him!

I had to tell him something, before he brought me into the house, screaming that I was back. 

**(~**All these feelings I've shared**~)**

So I told him the truth. 

I told him that this had been a dream of mine for so long, that everything seemed all right in his arms.

He had started to laugh, it sounded as if he had not laughed in so long. 

" Tai, everything is going to be fine. We don't care what happened." He had said cupping my cheek. " We need you, this… this seems like one of my dreams, but it can't be, oh Tai I've missed you!" 

**(~**And these are my dreams**~)**

I told him I missed him to, we stood there for a while savouring the moment for different reasons I'm sure. 

" Let's go inside Tai." The moment had gone; my dreams had ended with four words. When he tried to pull me inside I stood my ground.

" No Yama." I said firmly.

" What do you mean no?" He looked so confused, as if his world was falling apart. I couldn't have been his world though; I'm not worth it. 

I had started to step back, I couldn't go in, didn't he get that when he spotted me I was leaving? 

" You were leaving?" He said dumb founded. 

" Damn it." I always think aloud. I looked down; I could feel his glare burning into me.

"You're a fucking Bastard, you know that?" He spat. " You come here, say you miss us but have no intention of staying." He was getting chocked up.

" Matt don't cry, dang it, no one was suppose to see me, I just had to know that you were all okay." I cried back, tears now falling down from my eyes. " I had to know that you were all okay…" I whispered. 

" Do I look okay to you Tai? Hmm? I'm anything but okay. You were my best friend and you leave, alone, I would have gone with you, you know that? I would have left everything I had to go with you. But you left with only a fucking note telling me that your sorry." He yelled pulling out the note from his jacket pocket.

" You still have it?" I asked shocked. 

" Of course I still have it! It's the only thing I had left of you. You left, how could you leave like that Tai. You said in this." He shook the hand, which the note was in. " That you loved me. You didn't tell me in person, you told me in a note, and then said good-bye forever. Do you know how much that hurts? When you cant even say it back?" He started to sob after that, and all I could do was stand there. 

" You can't love me." I whispered, it was true, I was tainted, and I was disowned. I had no honour left in me; I had my life sucked dry that night. 

" How can I not? Are you really that big of a Baka that you can't see that no one cares what you did! We need you back." Matt then got shakily up to his feet and came towards me. " I need you back, look at me Tai." Matt was now standing only a foot away. I had felt so lost; all I knew was that I couldn't go back. 

" I'm sorry Matt I can't face them. I don't deserve anyone this." I say pointing to everything.

" Don't you want to be with me Tai?" Matt asked caressing my face.

" Yes, but I won't let you be with me." I showed all the love I had for him in those words, and pulled his head down for a kiss, it would be our first, and our last.

**(~**That I'd never lived before**~)**

He kissed me back, fiercely, and I started to feel myself fall into his grasp, but I couldn't, I had to go, I could never live this dream with him, he was too good for me. 

I pulled back, from the kiss and the embrace. I caressed his cheek one last time, loving the feel of his skin under mine. He looked so happy, but I knew that with me, you would be happy for a short time, but then pain would be your world. 

" Good bye Yama." I whispered and started to turn to run but Matt had jumped me before I got the chance. 

" I don't think so Tai!" He screamed. He was terrified, I could tell. He was shaking and holding me down as hard as he could. 

" It is better this way!" I screamed back.

" If you wont face them fine, but I'm coming with you." He said calmly, as if it was nothing.

He really had no clue what my life was like. I was living hour to hour with the threat that some guy might come into the wrong room and kill me. I had to live with hearing People scream their last scream and then die. I would wake up in the morning and have a dead body laying on the ground out side my door. I would have the same old cops come to my door and ask if I had seen anything, which they already knew the answer, no. 

I would not let him live that life, I would not! 

" Hell no!" I yell, kicking my way out from under him. But Matt was stronger then he looked.

I still can't believe what he said next, it felt like a dream, or a nightmare, what ever it was it shook me to the core.

**(~**Somebody shake me**~)**

" If you leave I will kill myself." He said it as if he had practised it. 

We stared at each other for what seemed like hours, but must have only been a few minutes, when something hit me, that would stop him form doing it and make him get off of me. 

" If you do that I'll do it." I answer the unseen question. It worked though; he was so shocked that he stumbled backwards, a look of horror across his face.

" What…!" He whispered.

" You heard me." I said standing up. 

" Since when have you talked like that Tai, you would never." He said it as if trying to reassure himself.

" A year on the street will do a lot to you." I say lowly.

" Then get off the streets!" He screamed.

" It is where I belong, good bye Matt, I truly do love you." I say starting to walk backwards.

" Then why won't you stay with me?" He sobbed. 

" I love you enough to know that I'm not worth you or anyone, good bye." After that I ran, I heard him scream my name so loud that all of Japan could have heard it. 

I tried to keep my tears in check, but then I heard the screams of my family and friends, all begging me to come back, there all better off without me I kept thinking, making myself run faster. 

That had been the last time I had seen them, a year ago today. I had almost turned back then, but I knew I was not worth it. 

" I miss you Yama, I really do. But after that little girl, I- I can't see you again." I whisper to myself, the only person I have left. 

" If only I hadn't been drinking." I whisper to myself again. " Sally would be alive and well, and I would be with you Yama." 

I hadn't seen it coming, even though it had been full daylight, I couldn't stop.

I had been speeding, I admit I knew I had, but I was drunk and didn't care. Sally a little girl from another apartment in our complex ran out into the road, it wasn't the main road, just a little road that a lot of people don't use. I saw her but I couldn't find the break, so I ran her over. I remember her screaming her little 8-year-old heart out; I remember making her go quiet. 

I found the break after I hit her, I hadn't of hit her head on, no she was an agile girl and had almost completely leapt out of the way, other then one of her legs that got caught in my car and…

I start puking thinking out what happened but I can't stop my train of thought. 

Her leg was almost completely severed off. It was the most gruesome thing I had ever seen, I was about to phone 911 when some guy came by, not any guy, but a sick bastard who laughed at what he saw.

" Good job." he had said sincerely, and I started to lash out at him, how could he be so sick and twisted?

I said some mean things but then I hear Sally again, crying out in pain she was still alive! I felt joy and started to dial 911 and telling her how sorry I was, and that everything was going to be okay. 

I had sobered up quiet a bit and was back to me regular mindset, well almost, my reflexes were a bit out of wick, or I would have seen the guy bring a club to my head mumbling about how compassion was useless. I would have never thought that guy would do that, he was dressed in light cloths and I would have assumed was a good guy, but no he knocked me out Sally bleed to death, and that's how this all started.

No charges were ever put against me, the family new I tried to help, but that other guy got what 10 years in jail. But life was never the same, my family disowned me saying that they were sickened by me. Oh no never to my face but they forget that our bedroom is rate beside there's.

I had no honour left; I couldn't take it any more so I ran, leaving a note to every one. Now I had to deal with surviving.

**(~**Cuz I**~)**

**(~**I must be sleeping**~)**

" You can't keep thinking about it!" I scold myself. " You have to be strong to live here, have to be strong." I say before resting my head on my flat below, exhausted from the hard day. Before I fell asleep though a picture of Yama flooded my vision and a smile formed on my face. 

*********************************************

That is the end of the chapter, so what do you think? Is it at all good? Even a bit?

I will accept flames, but I hope I didn't suck. So there below this is the little box for reviews, so click it and type what you think. Please.

Anime Writer2


	2. Disintegrating

This is the next chapter to "So Far Away." 

The song belongs to Stained. 

Hope you all like this story, no real flames yet, and I will accept them, if there about my writing, but if you try and flame me about doing a Taito, why are you on the second chapter? Didn't you get that it was a Tai and Matt in the first chapter? 

The song is very widely spread and I am going to try and keep it in tune with the song the best I can. 

This is a **Matt Pov**. If I change to Tai Pov I will tell you clearly. 

You all know what Tai's life has been like these last two years, how's Matt's going? Oh and just to clarify, this is the day after Tai. So Tai could be doing anything.

****

So Far Away

Chapter 2

Disintegrating 

**(~**Now that we are here**~)**

" Please come out!" I hear behind my door. " Matt please" Sora. What is she doing here? I don't answer any of them. Why can't they just leave me alone? Just like he did. 

I chock on a sob, no I'm not going to think of Tai, he left, and he never cared for me. I tell myself but the words hold no meaning, only a lie to myself. Two years he has been gone, and yet everyday feels longer then the last. 

My hands reach up and touch my lips, a year ago today, one year ago we had our first kiss. A small smile tugs at the corners of my lips. It had been the best kiss I could have asked for. The happiness that went through my veins that day is all that keeps me going. 

" Matt, you're upsetting everyone even more." T.K. " We know that you… You're hurting more then any of us, but we need you, I need you bro, please come out." He sounds so sad. I sigh knowing that I could not make my little brother hurt anymore. 

I stand up and unlock the door before moving back to my bed. My curtains are closed and blowing in the wind, giving an even darker look to my black room, just like I like it. My bedspread is jet black with two read flames entwining together in an almost dance. My pillows are Black, carpet Black, and walls painted a black purple colour, except in one spot where Tai had painted one word and drew a smiley face. Only I knew what it said though, Tai's writing was not known for being legible. 

I find myself staring at that spot a lot, I remember when he wrote it, or when I found out he wrote it. 

I had come home after a practise with the band and found Tai sitting on my bed, nothing strange about that but the look on his face told me he had done something. 

" Tai…" I had said uneasy looking around my room when I noticed a towel hanging over my wall to my left, three feet from the window. " What did you do to my wall Tai?" I finally got out.

His smile grew. " Just thought I would label the room." And after he said that he jumped up and ran towards the window and stood by the towel, signalling for me to sit down. 

" Gentlemen and Matt." Tai began, and I scowled, just because I was skinny Tai always made comments about me being feminine. " I would like to present you with the label for this room!" And then he tore down the towel, and before me I saw he had painted in red writing was the word Goth, and a happy face. 

My mouth had gone slake; the only thought in my head was that I was going to kill Taichi Yagami. But what he did next made me forget that thought. 

" And you know what?" Tai said moving closer,

" What?" I spat out through clenched teeth. 

" I wouldn't want you to change for anything." As he said that he had sat in my lap, giving me a more then friendly hug. " Because you're my Yama." And he kissed me on the cheek. I still remember the bush that spread across my face, it was so hot it almost hurt. 

With that said he stood up and stuck out his tongue at me. " And you are a Goth." 

" And proud of it!" With that we laughed and went to the kitchen, Tai pleading with me to cook him something. 

Times were good then, really good. Tai… He painted that on my wall two weeks before the incident. 

Why had he even been drinking? Tai was not usually one to get drunk. 

" Matt?" I heard Kari call from behind the door.

" It's open." I said simply. 

The door swung open revealing all of the digi destined and there parents, all except Tai. 

I must have been crying because the asked me to stop. I couldn't though, why weren't they all crying? TAI'S STILL GONE! But I kept my rants inside my head. 

" Matt when was the last time you had something to eat?" Kari asked out of the blue. I looked down at my body; I had lost another 20 pounds almost since last year. The doctors told me I had to fatten up or I would die, but I didn't listen so twice a week I would go down there and get IV's Stuck in me, sometimes four times a week. 

" Through IV's or actually eating?" I heard my dad question angrily. 

" Oh Matt! Why are you doing this to you're self? My brother would not want this!" Kari said poking at my curved in stomach. 

" You brother is not even here!" I yell pushing her away. " And I don't care about what he wants. He left TWICE don't you get it? He's a Bastard that deserves to be on the streets! You know what I hope some one has murdered his sorry ass; do all of us some good! No one needs him around! He's a murderer himself. I'm glad he's so far away."

Everyone's mouths dropped at that, even mine. Ken, Yolie, Cody and Davis just stood there while the rest clenched there fist looking royally pissed off, everyone other then Kari and T.K. 

" Why would you even say something like that?" I hear Kari ask and my brothers eyes probing into me, but before I could answer Mrs. Yagami had rushed forward and slapped my across the face. 

" How dare you!" She cried. " You really want him dead, well guess what Matt he could be! My baby could be dead. I thought that you cared about him, especially after last year. I have never seen someone so devastated as you. You said that you loved him…" She couldn't talk anymore as sobs racked her body. 

I can only look blankly at them. 

" Do you actually believe what you said? Do you even know what you said?" T.K Screams, I shake my head not really signalling anything. "You said; I don't care about what he wants. He left twice don't you get it? He's a Bastard that deserves to be on the streets! You know what I hope some one has murdered his sorry ass; do all of us some good! No one needs him around! He's a murderer himself. I'm glad he's so far away. Do you REALLY think that little of him?" My brother already knew the answer to that. 

I start to sob harder then I ever had. I don't want anything to happen to Tai, I want him back home; I want to hold him tight. But we are here, and nothing can change that. 

I could tell that T.K was about to say something else when we all heard a thud out side of my window. I jump off of my bed and run towards it, pulling the blinds open to see a bundle of Brown hair, spread out across my fire escape. 

I hear Kari gasp as if something was wrong, but all I could think about was getting Tai inside, keeping Tai with me this time. 

I climb out my window and run down the stairs to where he is. He must have knocked the wind out of himself, I reach down to grab onto his arm when he punches me in the face, lightly, but it's enough to stop me in my tracks. 

****

(~ So far away **~)**

Tai try's to stand but falls back down; he hit his head pretty good too. 

" Tai stay there will get you inside." I say, trying to take his arm.

" I thought I deserved to be on the streets? That you would like it if some one killed my sorry ass, I thought you wanted me so far away, right?" He says glaring only hatred at me.

It all makes sense now. He heard what I said. Before I can say anything back though everyone else come down the fire escape and his dad with the help of Joey, T.K, and Daisuke all help him up into my bed room. 

" Matt are you coming?" Kari asked me after everyone else had entered the room. 

" He heard what I said Kari." I cry out covering my face with my hands. " He heard."

She sighed and laid a hand on my shoulder. " I thought he might have. But are you just going to stay out here? What if he leaves again? You need to tell him the truth." And with that she left. 

I just sat there not ready to face him again. 

**Tai's Pov**

**(~** All of the struggle we thought was in Vain**~)**

I'm lying on Matt's bed, my family around me saying so many things; it is so hard to understand it all. 

" Don't leave again Tai, please!" It was my mom. I looked at her, why didn't she want me to leave? I thought I was disowned.

" Why would you think that?" She shrieks. Damn I need to stop thinking out loud. 

" I heard you and dad, I know I have no honour left in me. But I did try and help her, you have to know that!" I say looking down the whole time.

" Oh my god, we weren't talking about you! We were talking about what we heard over the news!" My dad said after a moment.

Realisation appeared on my moms face. " You thought we were talking about you? We know you tried to help her. Tai Your not disowned, we can bring out the papers to prove it!" My mom screams and flings her arms around me. 

I smile. I still had honour, and my family. " So you still care about me?" 

" Care about you! Ha, we love you more then you will ever know." I saw everyone nod his or her head. They all looked so happy, tears of joy falling down their faces. 

"And were not letting you leave again, you got that?" It was Kari; she moved closer and sat beside me, waiting for mom to untangle her self from me before hugging me also. " He didn't mean any of it, he's missed you the most. He almost killed himself because you were not here. Don't leave please." Kari whispered in my ear, not letting anyone else hear the words she spoke. 

I close my eyes tightly, he didn't I… he couldn't mean what he had said; that if I left he would kill himself. 

" Do you know how much we looked for you? When finally we thought it was all in Vain so we stopped?" Izzy. He has changed though, grown about half a foot. 

" You look different Izzy." I say trying to smile, but only succeeding in grinning. 

" Two years can do that to you." He says sternly but his face is all smiles. 

I rub the back of my neck not knowing what to say. " I deserve to be there." I finally chock out and the room falls silent. 

" No you don't." Mimi. 

" You need to be here with me, um… us." Sora, I shudder, she kept jumping between Matt and me before I left and it seemed that she was still going at it.

**(~**All the Mistakes**~)**

" Tai no you don't. And it's about time you realise that no one deserves to be on the streets." Ken. 

I couldn't smile at him so I just nodded. Matt thought I did, no matter what Kari say's, I now knows what Matt thinks of me. 

The room smells like him, and nothing looks like it has changed much, same old black. I look to the window and see that Goth-Happy face is still there. The only thing that is different is that there are more pictures around the room. I take a closer look and see that there all of me or of him and me. 

" All of the pictures are of Matt and me." I say in disbelief. 

" Of course." T.K replies looking around. " Your all that matters to him." He adds. 

" I wish." I mutter. Then shiver, it has been so long since I have been around so many people, and I felt like running away but knew that I couldn't now that I knew that they did care about me. " I heard what he said." I say more clearly.

T.K's face knitted together in worry. " Matt didn't mean it you know?" 

" That's what Kari said." I say with a grunt. 

" We all make mistakes, and slip of the tongues, you should know that." Yolie. 

" Trust me I know." I snap out. " I'm sorry Yolie." I say after a second. 

" It's okay." 

There was a noise from the window and everyone's attention turned to it. Matt was climbing into the room, his eyes down cast. 

Now that I got a good look at him I noticed he had lost even more weight, about 20 pounds I would say. His cloths hung off him as if he was an anorexic. His face had sunken in some, and he looked like he was NOTHING but bones, a living stick. Even though he looked like this, to Tai, he was still too attractive for words. 

" Matt… You look like a mess." I say finally break the uneasy silence.

" So do you." He replies with a smile. 

All I can do is smile back. Matt's words keep running through my mind, but I try and push them away. Maybe we can start over. 

" I see your still a Goth." I laugh at the end, a true laugh. Everyone else in the room drifted away, until it was just Matt and I.

" Yep, and proud of it." And then we both laugh a little, but his words still lye between us. 

Then a thought came to my head, how was I going to get off the streets? I had to make some friends there to survive and I'm not sure if they want me to leave just yet…

******************************************

Done chapter 2

PLEASE Review! Look down there, thank you. I would love to know what you think. Should I just give this up, though I don't want to, but if its that bad I think I should. 

Thank you to all that reviewed last chapter 10! Yes! 

There are 2613 words in this.


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